By head-butting an opponent, getting himself red-carded (ejected), and thereby denying himself an opportunity to participate in the penalty kick phase of the game, Monsieur Zidane ended his illustrious and storied soccer career on a career-defining low and flat note. What a way to go out.

Never before in my short life have I witnessed such professional sporting stupidity on the part of a "leader" of any team. Never before have I seen a captain or national hero inexplicably lose it at the moment of decision. Never before has one act of selfish retribution so dashed the sporting hopes and ambitions of an entire state. And for a state that has so little to be proud of, this was a major disappointment. Large segments of the French youth don't work or earn money; this was the best chance they had to find a reason to gloat. Yet Zidane robbed them of potential glory.

We expect the French to occasionally surrender on the battlefied, but don't we expect differently in sport?  Don't we expect just the opposite? But soccer, and the French, often does not meet American expectations on any level; in fact, it often confounds our expectations. This brings me to the point of this posting, three reasons why soccer will never trump NASCAR in the USA.

First, NASCAR is ostensibly more cultural and not accessible to the every-man. Nascar originated in the South, is admired there more than anywhere, and started as the pasttime of the few, rather than the many. Soccer, on the other hand, can be played by people everywhere, no one cares from where it originated, for it doesn't matter. No one says, "You can't be a real soccer fan, you're from the Midwest." But you'd be hard-pressed to never hear, "You ain't a true NASCAR fan unless you chew or spit tobacco, use the phrase, "y'all," occasionally hoist the Rebel/confederate flag, take a trip to the beer barn, or own cowboy boots and some gators for your sunglasses." There's a difference between being a true NASCAR fan and being a regular fan. Odds are, if you're south of the Mason-Dixon line, you've got a much greater chance of being a legit nascar fan. If you're from Timbuktu, Oregon, Zaire, or Australia, you can be a totally legit soccer aficionado.

Second, NASCAR entails the possibility of death or extreme bodily harm, which for some reason, Americans relish. Hence boxing, ultimate fighting challenge, hunting, and racing of all stripes and colors. Playing soccer may break your nose, your shin, your leg or your noggin, but soccer lacks the inherent danger to which the Americans are obsessively drawn. People watch hockey to see fighting, nascar to see crashes, and boxing because all the do is beat the opponent to a pulp. Soccer players feign injury, act hurt when they trip on themselvse, and start crying from merely being tired. How dangerous is that? It's more dangerous being on the pit crew of a racing team than being a soccer player. And those guys get none of the glory or compensation; they just change tires, fluids, suspension, and alignment.

Finally, soccer jerseys do not allow for the same advertising that NASCAR uniforms do. Nascar outfits are human billboards, the dream advertisement for a company. Why can't soccer players have ads on their shins, backs, knees, etc? Some may find this crass, but the rest of the soccer stadium is littered with advertisements, why not the players themselves?

You can't even see the car drivers the entire race but you can definitely recall Tom Cruise's Mellow Yellow racing outfit from Days of Thunder. Or, maybe just I remember that. Regardless, soccer doesn't allow for as much advertising as Nascar does. You can't sponsor a player, players don't thank their sponsors when they win, and players can't be owned by team owners who promote them individually. We have football, baseball, hockey, tennis, and basketball stars to offer individual endorsements. And they score on the field of competition a lot more than soccer players do.

Sure, soccer is captivating. I watched the world cup as much as the next guy, but I will never like soccer as much as a Nascar crash, a victory lap, fight between pit crews, or a Budweiser commercial with a couple drivers. 

That's all for now.