So, you're feelin' a little too fem these days, what with your lack of manly duties. I actually knew someone who worked on their car engine in the middle of their apartment living room. So...there's still hope....well, that was in Bakerfield where the rednecks flow like....well, like rednecks do, I guess. DC is another story, I'm sure.

Potted plants and weekly fertilizing could be an outlet for you. Maybe you could take apart your tv or dvd player and put it back together? Just a thought.

Eat lots of red meat and potatoes (the testosterone treat) and drink large quantities of whatever comes in a can---and save those cans/bottles, why don't you, in order build large pyramids. That sounds like fraternity life but isn't that atmosphere the breeding ground for future manly men?

Always drink milk or orange juice out of the carton. And remember---put it back in the fridge--even if empty. The next poor fool can do that!

Never, I repeat, NEVER put a dirty dish in the dishwasher. Instead, don't rinse it and place it on the counter so that the food can petrify. Avocado is a perfect food for this. It could be the next Crazy Glue.

Sleep on the same sheets for...let's say about 6 months...that would be about right. And remember dust bunnies are your friend.

Release large quantities of gas---not from your car silly---that would be too expensive in this day and age---I mean from an anterior oriface.

Take to grabbing dirty clothes out of your hamper (if you have one--if not--grab the nearest item of clothing on the floor, which by the way, has become a landfill)

Leave all your hair clippings (nose, face, hair, ears) in the sink. Visitors can draw designs in them ---roarschach like artwork can line your sink.

As I still reside in what I call "The Testosterhome" I have seen these practices first hand.

I leave you with these thoughts before I go into the bathroom to draw. After I get a blow torch from the garage to remove the food from a few plates.